Lajjana Beeninga, Ananda Minister
The journey to find the missing link in my life began with a strong desire for something I KNEW was out there, somewhere. I didn’t even know what it was, but I wanted to find it.
Most of my life was spent raising a family and doing volunteer work.
My early spiritual life started out in the Dutch Reformed Church, which never gave me a clear understanding of the Christian religion.
It soon lost most of it’s appeal for me when I saw that many people who came to service on Sunday and gave money to support the church, didn’t seem conscious of how they lived the rest of the week – or how they treated others.
My life was full of desires. My mind was saying if you get this thing or that you will be happy, but I noticed as soon as I got “it” I was on to the next thing. It never stopped. I yearned for loving relationships with people, but something was always happening to break that bubble of happiness that I was sure would stay. I remember saying to a friend once, “There HAS to be more to life than this ——– and when I find it, I will let you know.”
In 1980 my consciousness was raised to a higher level after I experienced a healing fast along with plenty of sunshine at a health school in Texas. When I returned home, I discovered my friends and family were not at all supportive of changes in my life. My ego was in a lot of pain! I became a vegetarian and read books about spirituality. One book that made a lot of sense to me was called “God Works With You, Not For You”.
A spiritual yoga teacher came from Arizona in 1991. A picture of her doing the Triangle pose in the local paper caught my eye and I signed up. I loved yoga and went to class almost every day. I remember the day my heart opened, walking along the street in downtown Sioux Falls after a yoga class. It just soared!
At some point I bought two of Yogananda’s books from her boutique –The Autobiography of a Yogi and Scientific Healing Affirmations. I couldn’t stop looking at Yogananda’s picture on the cover and carried the affirmation book in my purse for a long time.
One of my yoga friends who had taken YTT at Ananda village brought me the program book after I decided to go to a yoga retreat. She said “I think you will like it there”. Well, like it I did – I felt like I had come home.
The first time I did the Energization exercises I knew I would be doing them for the rest of my life. Chanting & meditation seemed very natural. Most of the pictures on the altar were new to me, but I KNEW this was what I was looking for!!
Back home I found it was hard to meditate on my own, but I kept trying (with support from Uma & Anandi at the village and Master’s help).
My husband was not able to understand this new way of life I had chosen, so I asked Master to help me get up early in the mornings to meditate without the alarm clock. He answered my prayer by lighting the lamp beside my bed each morning at 6 am.
We visited our son’s family in Seattle quite often. When I learned Ananda had a community only 2 miles from their home, I went to the early morning meditations. I also attended Sunday services (sneaking out right afterwards, of course!) and went to Masters Birthday banquet at Taste of India a couple of times. I remember hearing Cindy play her guitar and singing the most beautiful music I had ever heard.
A few weeks after my husband’s passing in 1997, I came to Seattle for Christmas and checked out availability in the community. The next fall, while I was in the discipleship training program at the Ananda retreat, a place became available. I went back to South Dakota to regroup and moved a month later! It was the best thing I ever did.
Living with devotees keeps me ever mindful of the lessons we are here to learn, and of the love and inner strength the Master’s give us. The value of living in community and serving our Guru is beyond words. I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life.